21 Weeks

Baby girl--

This week has been such an exciting week for your daddy and me.  Through the blessing of technology we were able to see how much you have been growing and how all your organs are just as they should be.  I don't think I can describe what a relief that was.  Plus, we got to see how you are changing from "other-worldly" to looking like a baby human.  During the ultrasound it was sometimes hard to make out what we were looking at (especially through my tears) and it all happened so fast.  But, when your daddy and I went out to the waiting room and I was able to really look at the pictures I let out a little gasp and said, "Oh babe...she's so pretty."  And I'm sure part of that is me entering mommy-biased world...but, I have to say dear, you really do have a fabulous profile. 

Something happened that day inside your daddy, too.  I would say it was the day things really "sunk in".  He immediately realized the importance of getting our home ready for your presence.  And he brought up that it was time to start talking about little girl names.  (When you're older we'll talk about how you might have been Archimedes ;).)  Later that night he told me that it has been hard for him to really comprehend your arrival...especially with all that we experienced last year.  I don't think either of us really knew how to fully accept that you would one day be more than a dream.

I have been loving you for 4 months now.  I guess if I really thought about it I would say it's been longer than that.  But, I found out that we were expecting you 4 months ago on my birthday (no, I couldn't have asked for a better present!).  And while I have been loving you and praying for your health and safe arrival all along...there was something about finding out that you are a girl that has made the whole experience even more beautiful.  Our girl, our daughter, our little lady.  My eyes fill with tears just thinking about what a blessing you already are.  Carrying you and fully embracing my role as your mother has made me so happy.

One day when you're older I'll tell you the story of how God gave you to us.  I'll tell you about the heartache and loss.  I'll tell you about the hoping and dreaming.  I'll tell you about the tears and the moments I so wanted to give up.  I'll tell you all of this not because our story is unique, little one.  I want you to know this story because as much as I wish it weren't so I know one day you will have your own trials and times in the desert.  I want you to know our story of trusting God and believing Him even in the darkness.  Stories of God's faithfulness bring hope and light when all we want to do is say, "enough." 

And you are here, sweet girl, because of His faithfulness.

With all my love,

Mama